Serena Williams Seems Unstoppable

Serena Williams launched her own 5K charity run in Miami over the weekend. The event was considered a huge success even though nobody showed up except for the team of scientists the government pays to study Serena’s powerful haunches for military application. The race raised money for a gun violence charity in Florida which seeks to reduce gun violence in the state and replace it with more senior citizen phishing scams and dog racing. I’m not exactly sure what Serena is, but until China gets one, they can forever consider themselves also-rans for best country ever.

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