Simon Cowell’s Baby Mama Ain’t Bad Looking

Simon Cowell’s buddy’s wide he knocked up isn’t half a bad catch. The way she threw away her husband and grade school son to be with Simon makes this one of the most romantic relationships in the history of upward mobility adultery. This isn’t anything like Angelina Jolie stealing Brad Pitt because she could pack a bowl with her pussy and spark it from her ass while Jennifer Aniston collected self-help VHS tapes to share with Brad why she couldn’t relax during sex. Though I thought I’d mention that. The manner in which Simon has wrapped his protective wing around his new skeeze and child is testimony to what a kindly asshole he is deep down. When he ultimately pays a Peruvian hit man sixty U.S. dollars to take out the wife, I’ll pull back on that compliment. Remind me in about March.

Photo Credit: INF