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Superhero Movies Scraping The Bottom of the Tank

December 9, 2014 | celebrity | matt-ralston | 0 Comments

Highly accessorized Game of Thrones actor Jason Mamoa has agreed to play Aquaman in a slate of four films starting in 2016. Since there was zero clamoring from anybody anywhere to make an Aquaman movie, it’s time to admit that all the cooler comic book characters have already been plucked to be the stars of a movie that was ‘kinda okay for a superhero movie’. We’re now at the point when the first four girls we asked to the prom claimed to be taken and we’re chasing down the chick with the epilepsy helmet who keeps babbling the word Hodor.

Aquaman is a guy with scales who can survive underwater and telepathically summon the powers of marine animals, meaning he can easily balance a ball on his chin. He is vulnerable to staying on land for extended periods of time. Look for that gripping scene where he drags himself toward a Red Lobster only to discover quite suspiciously they have no actual lobster tanks in the restaurant. Mon dieu!. By the year 2029 when the last of these films wrap up you’ll be able to tell your grandchildren how you used to make fun of Aquaman too as you shell out $47 bucks a ticket for them and their shit ball friend with the hover board.

Photo Credit: Getty Images 

Tags: jason momoa




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