The Situation Is Desperate

Mike Sorrentino sold the tires to his Ferrari on eBay for $9,999 dollars, probably to some dickhead Saudi businessman’s hookah hazed kid who thinks he bought the whole car. Sorrentino is scheduled to appear in court next year on tax evasion charge and is most likely paying his lawyer under the table in old fur coats and Jacuzzis. No word on why he’s selling just the tires. Moving a seven figure vehicle on eBay can’t be easy. Yet unloading a seven figure car without tires has to be nearly impossible. There aren’t a lot of dudes from Poughkeepsie with the cash to stick a Ferrari on cinderblocks in the yard and wrench on it after their shift at the mill. It’s stupid decisions like this which have The Situation broke and facing jail time. At least he had a good run. Ten years from now he’ll be working a fryer at Shakey’s bragging to the eighth grade arcade players how much ass he got in the early 2010’s. They’ll pretend to believe him because for a half roll of quarters he keeps scoring them Mickey’s after the shift. Bottoms up.

Photo Credit: eBay