Knicks Fan Not Winning

Dennis Doyle is an unemployed lawyer and huge New York Knicks fan. Instead of seeking work Doyle is cashing in his unemployment chips and watching a ton of shitty basketball. He has committed to see every single Knicks game in person this season, both home and away games. That means he’s been to exotic locales such as London, Milwaukee, and Salt Lake City this season in the name of watching a bunch of rented hacks. He has rationalized his worship of failure by claiming it’s a good thing the team blows because it will lead to draft picks:

“It reached a point where I know the losing is only going to be helpful in the long term. I actually find myself less upset. If they’re losing or getting blown out, I only know it’s going to help with the ping-pong balls.”

If the team gets better your tickets will be priced out and you’ll be relegated to watching games on a grainy black and white at a Union Square Denny’s. I don’t think this is the type of support the team wants when they talk about a Winning Culture. You’re way too into losing. I’d consider a cryo-chamber. Start life again in twenty years and see if you can’t do better.

Photo Credit: Theoakmancometh.com