Miss Universe Costume Contest Went Well

The Miss Universe pageant tried something new this year by having the girls wear costumes that represented their homelands as depicted in 1950’s era racist Atlases. Those ones where there were black tribalists with spears in the middle of Botswana. Miss Greece came out as a sheep being fucked by a shepherd being fucked by another guy. Miss India came out answering Microsoft customer service calls with a faux middle American accent, and somebody just came out as the Virgin Mary because who the fuck is going to tell the Virgin Mary to take a hike within 500 miles of the Florida panhandle. None of it really made any sense but thankfully nobody watches the Miss Universe pageant so there were few questions. All that’s left now is to wait to read the scandal about how Miss Ukraine has a secret prostitute past which should come as no revelation since her national costume choice was a whore beneath a red light blowing a Russian soldier who missed his mother’s cooking. People who say beauty pageants are anachronistic are people still watching beauty pageants so it’s hard to take them seriously.

Photo Credit: INF