NYC Is Fresh Out of Pranks

New Yorkers routinely feel obliged to create social movements involving exhibitionism. It’s some byproduct of being one of eighty billion people cramped into an urban closet where you’re broke but still need to impress people. Something sets these delusional animals routinely into the streets protesting nudity laws that don’t exist or pulling stunts involving wearing no pants. It’s the middle of winter and yet, no pants. Come up for air, chuckles. Every January 12th there’s now man-ass rubbing on your subway seat. This almost beats the diarrhea in your soup prank the waiter pulled on you at Chili’s. There’s a handful of women involved and everybody takes their pictures because they’re women and it almost makes the event seem worthy. But mostly it’s just a reminder what a boner killer it is to see even an attractive woman rub her bare hiney in a chlamydia and crab slurry.

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