Sean Penn and Pamela Anderson Loaded for Haiti

Nothing says, hang in there Haiti, we’ve got more bucks for building grade recycled cardboard like a couple veteran Hollywood inebriates showing up to help those wretched voodoo fuckers with a fundraising gala. Without an accurate BAC, it’d be tough to say who was more sauced between Sean Penn and Pamela Anderson. You only know above .20 one will try to fuck you and the other will kick you in the head and then try to fuck you. Everybody else assembled did what most people would do at a Save Haiti fundraiser. Pretended to care and wrote as small a check as they could get away with and then left for a party with better music. At last call, Charlize Theron and that unemployed poker playing slob chuckled knowingly to each other then went to go find their respective significant others in the toilet to give them the good news. Haiti has now been saved. Also, Detroit is on the rebound and Ebola dosed out properly regrows your hair makes your dick grow three inches. Off to bed now, kittens.

Photo Credit: Splash