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February 19, 2015 | celebrity | matt-ralston | 0 Comments
James Robertson, the Detroit area guy who walks 21 miles a day round trip to his factory job, has had to move out of his boarding house and into protected seclusion because too many people are trying to bum money off him/kill him. People get offed and dissolved in lye in Detroit when they win a free Big Mac in a scratch off promo. After Robertson’s story went viral he has received $350,000 in donations made to a GoFundMe site which was set up for him. He also got a brand new Ford Taurus which I think is worth another thousand on trade-in at the better car store.
I am a bit suspicious of Robertson although I admire his dedication. For me the tide turned when I found out he drinks at least a two liter of Mountain Dew every day. That seems like the shitty judgement of someone who would take a low paying job ten miles from their house. Now that Robertson has reliable wheels he should heed my advice and get out of Detroit before the zombies come out of the wreckage. Get on the interstate westbound and don’t stop until you smell saltwater. I’ll overlook the Dew if you can do this one thing for me. Don’t let me down. The gas is on the right. To freedom!