When your daughter comes to you with a vivid dream of showing off her tits and hanging with the Jenners and having Kanye as her late night private music mentor, that’s not a dream, that’s an omen. She may only be twelve, but inspirational quotes don’t include phrases like ‘wait for your first period’. Time to book one-ways from Guam to Los Angeles to pursue this heavenly mission. You know by third grade if your kid’s going to be a doctor or a porn star, it’s just the admitting it part that takes a while.
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