Twitter Is the Premier Choice of Your Jihadi Types

Congratulations to Twitter. While the social media site has been losing market share in inane tween girls who could really benefit from fresh air and burpees, they’ve been cleaning up in Islamic State supporters. About 46,000 of them reported on Twitter in the past three months, which still pales in comparison to the human carnage resulting from the millions who follow Dr. Oz. There’s a healthy crossover between followings.

ISIS is using Twitter to share their wins and feed the enthusiasm of Muslims in Europe and the U.S. to come and fight for them in any number of their lovely timeshare resort occupied cites. First, you get a rifle that plays Gary Glitter’s Rock and Roll Part 2 every time you kill a Jew. You get a wife who you’re free to beat if your shawarma gets cold or she denies you sex, except on her period then you get flogged and your left nuts lowered into 6M HCL for seventeen excruciating seconds. If I were a sexually frustrated Muslim not digging community college and living at home, I’d probably fire up the Retweets and check out Southwest to see how many plane changes I need to get to Kobani. Hint, you’re stopping in Kansas City, there’s no way around it.