We Can Stop Talking About This Now

Manny Pacquiao and Floyd Mayweather have finally agreed to a super boring fight that Mayweather will win in a controversial decision they both end up laughing about in the money counting room. Guys don’t die in the ring anymore and rarely break a sweat. Float like a butterfly. Then sting the guy once he nears forty. Pay the fucking judges too idiot. Then have your cut guy push some needles into his effigy while you’re at it. If you think Voodoo isn’t totally legit say Candyman into the mirror five times and get outlined in chalk. The amount of press coverage this fight will generate should outweigh the four exciting seconds of it by a standing eight count. The only thing that would make this event worth your sixty bucks would be Mayweather fighting his ex fiancees in a Royal Rumble for the undercard. Sure it’s unethical but so is paying a felon millions to tap people with his little fist and count the tallies. With any luck blood clots will form spontaneously and both men will fade out, pulling the plug on the once illustrious sport of boxing.

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