Anna Faris’ Husband Makes Her Feel Sexy

Anna Faris is under professional pressure to be more of the glamorous type Hollywood star. She’s refusing to ditch her sweatpants and makeup free look, leaving her reps to gently remind her that she’s not nailing down gigs because she’s the next Dame Judy Dench. If you thought women running Hollywood was going to mean less pressure to show off your tits and ass, think again. Ellen just got a sitcom featuring Elisha Cuthbert and Kelly Brook as a couple ordinary relatable girls. Women will rape women for cash in ways men couldn’t even conceive in their linear minds. Anna says none of the pressure gets to her because she relies on her husband Chris Pratt to make her feel sexy:

He makes me feel really beautiful even when I’m feeling disgusting. I’ll be in boxer shorts and a grubby T-shirt with greasy hair, and he’ll still be like, “Whoa, honey. Whoaaa.

First of all, props to Chris Pratt for how much sex he’s probably getting form his good looking wife with his whoa, honey lines. However, this remains a horrible idea. Counting on random strangers and vets down at the local watering hole to make you feel wanted is a plan. Those guys will cat call you until the end of days. Counting on the man who smells your shit every day for years on end and has other beautiful women constantly trying to nail him, that’s finite. Grownups shouldn’t get their life hacks from fairy tales. Now put on something slinky and find yourself a politician to worship your toes. Feeling long term beautiful requires a Plan B.

Photo Credit: Health Magazine