Cee Lo Free To Party

Cee Lo Green finished his community service with straight A-grades. Green was charged last summer with slipping ecstasy to his Craigslist Hot Women Seeking Fat Midgets date. The courts determined Green and the chick with smaller tits than Green fucked somewhat consensually. They also determined Green had a great time while his date was appraising his headboard for scrap and waiting for him to scream ‘Jesus’. The judge didn’t want to deal with a horny midget and an angry pro so he told Green if he pleaded no contest, he’d just give Green a whole bunch of fake punishments not including jail time. This was the same deal a judge backed out on forty years ago that sent Roman Polansky fleeing to France for forty years. Green isn’t really in fleeing shape so he took the community service and support meetings where he learned that drugging women before sex is not cool in Hillary Clinton’s America.

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