Courtney Stodden in A Tiny Bikini

I must admit, when I don’t see or hear from somebody like Courtney Stodden for a while, I just assume they’re dead. It’s not mean, just expedient. If they show up again then I’m pleasantly surprised. Great, you’re still here. And how’s your jealous older boyfriend with the gun collection? If not, I’m prepared with a platitude for the reporters about how I suspected something was wrong by their absence. It is unusual for your above average attention whore to disappear for several months. It’s possible she gave birth to a baby born of one thousand maniac inmates, or maybe just went and had her tits run through the centrifuge in Star City to restore their oblong shape. Also, maybe, some college and a salad.

Photo Credit: Instagram