Facebookers Know Shit You Don’t

Self described Wellness Warrior Jessica Ainscough came down with a bit of the cancer a few years ago. After undergoing chemotherapy that worked she decided to continue treating her maligned condition with homeopathic shakes and lesbians on their second career path who will massage you for fifty bucks or blow you for thirty. Once the cancer spread to the right side of her body doctors highly recommended her arm be amputated. Jessica then went on a quest to prove these doctors wrong by drinking kale shakes and promptly died. From the cancer. Her defiant undertaking was shared via Facebook by all the moms who think they’re better than you and their husbands with hoop earrings who push a stroller. I rarely get to say this with conviction: You’re wrong. Share the funeral plans on Twitter. I know you can’t attend, you’re busy.

Photo Credit: JessicaAinscough.com