Hilary Duff Doing Well With Divorce

This is 2015. Women don’t need a man. But maybe you ought to think about keeping yours. Hilary Duff dumped her retired NHL husband because he wasn’t perfect, then took him back, then filed for divorce because he went out and partied all night with his buddies. Then she dyed her hair blue and started doing baby mermaid talk on Instagram. Map that progress, it’s not an up arrow.

There’s nothing wrong with divorce, though maybe you want to think about how many you’re up for before the age of thirty. The real problem is marriage. There’s certain people who should never get married. Like people with better options of any kind. Throughout human history, marriage was a business arrangement. Then, for a brief time period, it was about the indescribable feeling of love. Statistically, that fared pretty rotten. Now it’s merely a game of who will back down first. Here’s an idea, the next time somebody says let’s get married, you say, nah. The sex will get less frequent but you’ll be thankful you never had to dye your hair blue and pretend you weren’t miserable.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet/Instagram