Jessica Alba Can Make You Beautiful Too

Jessica Alba sharing her beauty secrets is like Clayton Kershaw showing you his curveball grip. Don’t clear space for the Cy Young on your mantle just yet. Alba’s in Dubai pushing the Braun shaver for ladies because apparently the only thing standing between you and being an A-list Hollywood movie star is stubble. The star of eleven bad movies and her team of stylists on the Braun campaign realize they’re selling snake oil, but they’re doing their best to couch it:

We believe women should never have to compromise on their style because they are not beauty ready.

That probably could’ve used a bit more couching. Though I am stealing that term ‘not beauty ready’ so people will screaming at me for calling their kids ugly.

Nobody really wants to hear that you’re born with your looks. I’m sorry your parents weren’t attractive, maybe dad took you to a ball game. Focus on the good times and give Jessica Alba some money so she’ll leave your party. Beauty isn’t about smooth legs, it’s about lack of competition.

Photo Credit: Braun