Kelly Clarkson Inspired by Curt Schilling

When people see an underdog like Curt Schilling taking on Goliath like JuCo rejects with used gum in their pockets, they get inspired. Kelly Clarkson stood up when a British celebrity-hating Tweeter ragged on her for looking zaftig on the Graham Norton show in the U.K.:

Jesus, what happened to Kelly Clarkson? Did she eat all of her backing singers? Happily I have wide-screen. #grahamnorton, Look chubsters, Kelly Clarkson had a baby a year ago. That is no longer baby weight. That is carrot cake weight. Get over yourselves.

Kelly Clarkson could no longer sit idle in a post-Gabby Schilling world. She summoned the courage of Pith himself and stepped into the breach:

She’s tweeted something nasty about me? That’s because she doesn’t know me. I’m awesome! It doesn’t bother me. It’s a free world. Say what you will.

Yeah, bitch, you just got some. Do people still say, you got served? Powned! At some point the remaining 1.3% of famous people who don’t already know this are going to realize that you can’t win a battle with the Internet. They’ll cure ass cancer before anyone figures out a successful strategy for combatting millions of people with millions of hours of free time and a whole lot of ego debt. Me included. I mean, I think I have ass cancer. Something hurts where it shouldn’t.