Madonna Officially Too Old

How can a woman sucking on chains and showing off her tits in bondage gear be officially too old for the tween tastemakers? Apparently it’s happened. Radio 1 in the U.K claims it doesn’t discriminate on the age of the artists it plays for its massive teen audience but unofficially made comments about how Madonna has one foot in the grave and we’re bringing out shovels to finish the job. Madonna rightfully claims her new pop music shit is the same shit she was making thirty years ago and shouldn’t be omitted from the station’s influential playlists simply because she occasionally leeks beneath her corset during shows. It should only be about how horribly perfect the songs are for thirteen year old girls.

“We’ve made so many advances in other areas – civil rights, gay rights – but ageism is still an area that’s taboo and not talked about and dealt with.” — Madonna, not at all self interested.

That’s mostly just because old people are too tired to scream and march. But if you don’t think AARP is one of the most powerful special interest lobbies in the country, think again. Over 50’s control just about everything there is to do with real political and economic power. Including Madonna who owns tropical islands and cages full of young North African males. It’s not just about the music. It’s about the artist. Kids don’t want to be like old people, they want to be like slightly older kids with cars and hot girlfriends and boyfriends. The golden years suck for most entertainers. That’s why you get to have so much fun and money and good drugs before you get there.

Photo Credit: Out Magazine