Paris Hilton’s Stalker A Keeper

Paris Hilton has a stalker named Johnny Rock Page who enjoys dressing up in motorcycle gear and calling himself a pro racer. He recently got into Hilton’s gated community by saying he was a flower delivery guy at which point he scared the shit out of Hilton and she asked the number for 911. Page had come to deliver a Cadillac to her which he bought as a gift. He’s also mailed her a wedding dress and had two separate aerial banner flown over her house which read:

“Can’t Get Paris Whitney Hilton Out of My Mind… Mr. & Mrs. Hilton, may I court your daughter Paris?”

The Cadillac sat on the street and then someone came and bashed out all the windows. Page denied being the culprit in a letter he hand pasted from magazine scraps. Page also has two daughters who are going to have to transfer schools now. The oldest rule in the book is chicks don’t like a dude who seems desperate. He could have been inside her already if he’d just called her fat or read her Wiki page out loud.

Photo Credit: Twitter