Slipknot Guitarist Stabbed In Head

Slipknot guitarist Mick Thomson was stabbed in the head by his brother after an intoxicated brawl about whose head was more knife proof. Both men were rushed to the hospital from Thomson’s home in Clive, Iowa with severe injuries which Slipknot fans will find endearing. Being stabbed in the head is a rite of passage in the Iowa backwoods metal scene similar to sucking a guy’s dick in the Crips. It is unknown whether Thomson will die and therefore be forced to retire from Slipknot. My guess is he will indeed pass into Satan’s Beloved Kingdom but the band will continue wheeling his corpse around along with their buckets of bat droppings and outhouse sludge as a lame gimmick to appease their increasingly meth raging fans. Should he survive he and his cauliflower eared brother will no doubt sit back and laugh about this over a bucket of bath salts while watching Rosemary’s Baby for shits and giggles. I wonder what these tools sound like in T-Shirts.

Photo Credit: Slipknot1.com