Steve Simoff Is Up to No Good

On the heels of the Detroit guy who walked 21 miles a day to a crappy paying job for no good reason, the media have sussed out an old guy in Iowa who walks 35 miles each way to get to his $9 an hour gig as an overnight janitor. According to newspaper accounts bolstered by his bandwagon Congressman, Steve Simoff walks a marathon plus eight miles to get to work five days a week to support his sick wife and unemployed adult grandson. It’s a great story, even if not mathematically possible. But let’s just say Simoff walks a long fucking way. He leaves home at 3:30 with his peanut butter sandwich to get to the Casino by 11:00pm for his night shift. He hitches here and there but still puts in a solid ten hours a day walking. In the snow. In winter.  Along the Interstate. He works eight, leaving him time to get home, flop down for a few hours and head back out on the road for that sweet sweeping gig he doesn’t want to lose. It’s tiring, but he has his dip and coffee.

Either Simoff is making up an excuse to spend days away from his sick wife and live-at-home pothead grandkid, or he’s one stupid fuck. This isn’t an unsung American hero, this is a dolt tearing through shoes every other month to spend 18 hours a day taking home 72 bucks before taxes. He’s effectively earning $4 an hour as the responsible head of household. You can’t find a way to get a $4 an hour gig closer to home? You don’t think the fast food joint at the end of the block wouldn’t pay a 61-year old white guy with tremendous lungs $8 to run the fryer? You show up five days straight and they’d probably name you manager. You could find babysitting gigs on your block that probably pay you twice your mopping job at the casino. Wait? Casino? I’d have my Congressional aides dig into this story a bit more before shaking this dude’s hand at the 4H.

Photo credit: DesMoines Register