Zayn Malik Expendable

If you had a legitimate band and one of the members left you’d start freaking out. If you’re a gaggle of twinks who move their lips on cue it’s not that big of a deal. Hence, Zayn Malik of One Direction is leaving the group’s World Tour due to stress. They will carry on without him because they already sold the tickets. Touring is supposed to be stressful but you deal with it by banging sluts and overdosing. One Direction sips chamomile while they look at their phones. Nice wardrobe, did you do it yourself? One Direction doesn’t play instruments or sing so it’s highly possible Malik will be replaced with whoever does the local car dealership commercials in the town they’re in. Yes, you still get your checks but you just ruined a chick’s first period story.

Photo Credit: Twitter