Daytime television is the one sector of the entertainment industry where old women thrive. Heroines are still bitch slapping each other well into their 70’s while caked with foundation and the dried blood of still born lambs. There are Botox machines in the stage bathrooms where for three quarters you can align your temples against the red arrows and assassinate your zygomaticus minors. The Daytime Television Awards annually march out these ghoulish anorexics like they’re headed to Logan’s Run carousel to cull the herd. Haley King is the only annual saving grace. Her young tits of magnificence make up for watching Steve Harvey get an award simply for not killing himself another year. Haley King was given a trophy as a ruse to draw her backstage and attempt to harvest her real skin and breast tissue. Aim for the stoas, Haley. It’s how they draw energy.
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