Ireland Baldwin Tweets from Rehab

Ireland Baldwin checked herself into rehab for ’emotional trauma’. That’s code for substance abuse. She’s a Baldwin, Show me liquor as my Family Feud survey guess. Ireland was trending toward despair by way of teen modeling, a dumb surfer boyfriend, then leaping several steps into a publicized lesbian relationship with a black rapper. It’s good she hit rehab before joining ISIS and bombing the luxury condo building where her dad keeps making new babies with the yoga instructor.

Sad cryptic Tweets are fine for most teenaged girls, but when you’re in a facility, this kind of messaging might get your wrists strapped to the bed. I bet it sucks extra to be miserable when you’re pretty and blonde and rich. You’re the drowning fish. Nobody even notices. Fuck, Tweet that. They will sedate you.