Jordana Brewster Not Really Nude

There’s nothing more heinous than advertising naked women then angling out all the money shots. Maybe genocide. Depending on who were talking about. Rwanda cough cough. Every year Allure magazine touts a bunch of Hollywood actresses in their nude issue without any real nudity. Zuckerberg could look at these photos without seizing. I can’t believe we’re busting rappers for weed while these magazine bastards go unpunished. I’d pay four bucks to see Jordana Brewster naked. I’d not pay four bucks to see her not naked. Do you see what just happened there? I just wasted four bucks at the newstand. Where do I go to get my dignity back?

Photo Credit: Allure Magazine