Justin Bieber Chokeheld (VIDEO)

Justin Bieber and his extended entourage were denied stage access to the Drake set at Coachella. Venue security excuse that the backstage area was already too full would’ve flown if they hadn’t just let Madonna pass to orally impregnate Drake with her cloacal mucous. Bieber insisted that it wouldn’t be safe for him to watch the show from the audience because he’s too famous and tiny like a child and would be mobbed. Which is actually probably true, though perhaps he underestimates the percentage of the population who root for his death by trampling. Bieber’s security started getting pushy with Coachella security because that’s just one big angry testosterone laden sausage standoff. The Bieber group was ordered by Coachella organizers to leave the premises. One security guy took the general green light to put Bieber into a chokehold and drag him away. A bit ambitious, but imagine that opportunity. You have to take it.

You can’t really see shit in this TMZ video, but they paid a bunch for it, so pretend you can. It’s like the Saddam Hussein hanging. I couldn’t really make it out, but I still felt better for watching.