More on Ben Affleck Riddled With White Guilt

When Ben Affleck appeared on the PBS snooze fest Finding Your Roots, which traces the guest’s genealogy to the nearest Coppola, he successfully lobbied the show’s producers to exclude the revelation that one of his distant relatives owned slaves. The information was leaked in Sony’s hacked emails which are now being milked for any last drop of anything interesting. Affleck apologized for being a psychotic image obsessed douche:

“I didn’t want any television show about my family to include a guy who owned slaves. I was embarrassed. The very thought left a bad taste in my mouth.”

You didn’t do anything wrong Ben. At best you share 8o percent DNA with the dude who was raping Africa. Minimizing this country’s history of slavery doesn’t do any favors to anyone involved. If this was somebody with whom you politically disagreed, you’d be making snarky comments about it with Bill Maher over martinis and olives stuffed with non-disclosure agreements for your dates. Don’t trust anyone who’s squeaky clean. Beneath that shit eating grin there’s a plantation house in Augusta full of dubious ghost stories. Time to man up. I’d say your Batman fortune could provide some solid reparations. Sign here. Still waiting.

Photo Credit: Twitter