Russian Chicks Jailed For Twerking (VIDEO)

A Russian court sentenced three chicks to a couple weeks in jail because they made a video which shows them twerking next to a World War II monument. Of the five in the video, two were spared because of poor health, which reaffirms my belief that you should always wear a condom with chicks from the Soviet Bloc because they probably have the Krokodil AIDS. The girls were charged with buying their first 80’s Casio keyboard and hooliganism which is Russian for some nosy bitch with old KGB connections made us do shit. Prosecutors are also planning to charge the parents of one of the girls for:

“The failure to encourage the physical, intellectual, physiological, spiritual and moral development of a child.”

My money says it’s the fat one. We could use laws like this stateside. Put Bruce Jenner in the joint where he can be free to express himself through heavy handed monologues and win a shit load of Emmys. Those soldiers would have appreciated that tight little body. Maybe more so than your Draconian police state. Russia is fighting an uphill battle. Hide your wife, they’re coming and their gold chains are blinding.