Zara Larsson Expert On Dick

Seventeen year old Swedish singer Zara Larsson is being hailed a hero because she put a condom on her leg. Apparently Larsson knows a ton of dudes who claim their dicks are too big to wear condoms which is a good one I might have to try it. If you’re seventeen and your biggest problem in life is too many sexual partners trying to bareback you, you probably don’t have real problems. I’m inclined to believe this scenario doesn’t happen often and she’s probably repeating some stupid storyline from Girls. She captioned the photo with:

“To all the guys saying “my dick is too big for condoms” TAKE A SEAT.””

There are a few logistical differences I could point out to Zara in person in great detail with a laser pointer depending on the age of consent in Sweden. Namely, dudes’ dicks aren’t shaped like parking cones and that thing is going to snap any second and your leg is going to get herpes. Larsson to her credit doesn’t take herself too seriously and brushed off the fem praise as the rabid misplaced aggression that it is:

“I did it as a fun thing only. Then I see how newspapers write about what feminist genius I am!… What becomes problematic here is that I’m really not a feminist genius… I, personally, do not consider myself to be some kind of Holy Mary of feminism…”

Kudos to you Zara. You might be the perfect woman. If not for the whole condom thing. Good luck testing your theory on the front line of the Lakers once you relocate stateside. Send me the grainy cell phone footage and be sure to cc: Consumer Reports.

Photo Credit: Instagram