Brian Williams Axed From Awards Show

Brian Williams already hosted the first ever Lincoln Awards on PBS created to honor military veterans and charities which assist their cause. It hasn’t aired yet. The concert was originally filmed in January which was a month before Williams claimed to have saved the men of the Edmund Fitzgerald by shooting down mutant sharks from his Cessna. Since this would have made the broadcast awkward Williams has been cut out of the entire thing and replaced with Michelle Obama who was already on stand by for Regis. Williams claims to have voluntarily removed himself because he didn’t want to be a “distraction” by utilizing his ninja skills against armed terrorists in the valet lot. It’s unclear how the finished product will look with the host being completely edited out but if they could make Furious 7 work this shouldn’t be terrible. Now someone needs to go back to all his old news broadcasts and replace him with the Dos Equis guy. In Germany the holocaust is still taboo. Ask the old people.

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