Even Tina Fey Must Suffer

I once had a girlfriend who told me on an evening out I should thank her for wearing very painful underthings so she could look nice for me. Later I told her I was wearing a condom and she should thank me for not giving her a baby I would never truly care for. I still kind of miss her. Tina Fey performed a clumsily staged striptease on Letterman to show just how much work goes into a woman looking nice for television talk show appearances. She’s obviously never seen Kevin Spacey’s pre-show prep. In the old days it was enough for a woman to look good and know it. Now, it must come with an apology, an explanation, and a stigmata reinforcing that this isn’t the least bit natural. Even being a successful woman seems super complicated. I’d approach it like a man. I’m worth $50 million, I’m booked on TV and movies for the next ten years, You seeing my balls hanging out is not a me problem. Cup them pleasantly or move the fuck along. I’ve got Danish furniture to buy.

Photo Credit: “Late Show With David Letterman” CBS