Hilaria Baldwin took some time off from talking about herself to talk about herself and her fucking baby whom she is raising to be a faith healing rapist. Baldwin posted a throwback photo of herself being pregnant in case you forgot that that and pretending to be Spanish are the only thing on her trophy wife resume. If child birth is such a miracle why are there six billion people on earth? Wait, what? Seven billion? I’d say Big Macs are slightly more divine. Jizz never gets any credit. Without sounding curmudgeonly, pregnancy is a beautiful thing. Just not as pretty as arching ropes of semen landing on your taught little belly. Plus there’s someone else’s kid in there. Dudes are supposed to want to fuck you to spread their seed. This one’s marked Reserved. Sure you need a few commas in your bank account but don’t ruin the illusion. Throw in a few photos of your dilated catcher’s mitt to free the dolphins. I don’t know how to repay you. I guess I’ll hit ignore.
Photo Credit: Instagram