Hillary Duff Not For Nothing

Hillary Duff’s posturing on Tinder appears to be a stunt for an upcoming reality show she is producing where she gets herpes from the valet guy. I’m still undecided about whether I’d suck a dick for a million dollars but I’m pretty confident in Duff’s response. Can we sell it in Bulgaria? She described the fascinating time she joined Tinder to Ryan Seacrest, forgetting we all know it’s bullshit now:

“It kind of started out to be a joke with some of my girlfriends. I was like, ‘Explain this whole thing to me because it’s kind of blowing my mind.’ We were swiping and it started out to be kind of a joke and then I was like, ‘I’m gonna join Tinder,’ and they were like, ‘What?! No way you can’t.’ And I was like, ‘Why can’t I? Yeah, I absolutely can.'”

You can do anything if you set your mind to it, like grow a garden or arrange for young Bangladeshi children to get clean water or download a free app on your phone. I’ll be watching so long as I get to laugh when your silverware gets stolen. The worse this goes for you the better the show will be, meaning if you’re hacked to death by the Spaghetti Monster you’re looking at solid sweeps ratings. You just sealed your fate. Canceled in five.

Photo Credit: Instagram