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Lady Justice Moves Super Fucking Fast in Baltimore

May 1, 2015 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen | 0 Comments

I don’t know what the fuck a handful of cops did to Freddy Gray. You don’t know. The State’s Attorney doesn’t really know but she’s filing murder charges against them after three minutes of deliberation on a hastily put together police report. A process that might normally take months, boiled down to a reactionary panicked couple of days. Nobody wants to see Baltimore burn, except everybody outside of Baltimore because we didn’t give a shit before The Wire and after The Wire we’re pretty sure whatever rises from the ashes has to be better.

Morgan Freeman is the latest to yell Fuck the Media for not reporting on problems in Baltimore until the riots lit shit on fire. Which could have been solved if Morgan Freemen just went to Baltimore before the riots and told everyone he’d detail his sexual trysts with his granddaughter only after they covered urban blight and police brutality in Charm City. Lamenting the state of modern news media is so fucking 90’s. Shitty things happen in shitty areas. The solution to how crappy things are in Baltimore is to move the fuck out of Baltimore. You can be poor in tons of places in this country where there aren’t riots and the cops won’t ever come around, even when you could use them. Try West Virginia. Just don’t sling ginseng and you’ll be alright.

Photo credit: Getty Images

Tags: marilyn mosby




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