Seth Gillam Killing It

Actor Seth Gillam who plays a cop on The Walking Dead got busted for going 107 miles per hour in a 106 zone while wasted out of his gourd. According to rumors I made up in my head, Gillam thought he would fist bump the cops and they’d compliment him on his work but in reality he was barely spared the pepper spray. You should never drink and drive. Not because it’s especially dangerous it’s just not worth the hassle. That being said if you’re going to do it go big or go home. Nobody wants to be the dude who loses the 100 meters by a thousandth of a microsecond. A better story is you spent the night banging Ukrainian hookers and were wheeled across the finish line in a wheelbarrow while covering Meatloaf on your ukulele. Similarly if you’re going to get popped by a DUI you want to be Keith Moon status as opposed to barely over the limit like Charlie Sheen on the morning of Jesus’ Birthday. Gillam will no doubt apologize but I have no beef. If you run over a pregnant lady we’re going to have words. Blame it on Tom Petty.

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