Tori Spelling Making More Babies

Tori Spelling is having yet another child because her horny husband needs to fuck somebody. Her reality show profile is broke-ass cheated on wife with anxiety disorders and an arm still fried from going bushwhack on a Benihana hibachi. Makes sense to bring another child into this world to suckle on the left teat then travel ten paces to find the right. This isn’t like those Catholic women on my block growing up who were permanently swollen with new life like self-fertilizing arthropods. They were multiplying for Jesus. Tori Spelling has some weird fragile fame ego bullshit that needs to be fed. She’s got the cash to pay for a million kids. The bigger question is why doofus number one keeps agreeing to plug her with more offspring. You felt trapped at one kid, try five. You’re not getting alimony, dipshit. You’re paying it. Quick, calculate half of unemployed.

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