Amber Rose Getting Warmer

Despite or perhaps because of the fact Amber Rose looks like an over the hill male tennis pro with a shaky boob job I never considered her in a sexual light. This could be because the mainstream media’s portrayal of gender norms has brainwashed me but mostly I’m just not that into fat dudes or power lifting. This photo inspires a whole set of what ifs. Yeah technically if you hold that pose I’m game. I brought an exacto knife and those size 13’s should come right off. Don’t fucking turn around for the love of god. Let’s say you’re laying on the beach with your eyes closed and someone comes up and starts giving you the best head of your life. Why should it matter if it’s Denny Hastert? Conversely, would you rather just get it over with and hit the drive through or spend the night seeking out a chick who John Waters hasn’t fucked? Depends on whether or not she’s facing the door. I thought I’d never be tempted. When does the NFL start I’m feeling woozy.

Photo Credit: Instagram