Brian Williams Might Get Demoted

Sources say Brian Williams likely won’t return as the anchor of NBC Nightly News after he serves his suspension for issuing make believe statements about his harrowing time in Iraq and rescuing the crew of the Edmund Fitzgerald. Insiders say NBC wants to keep him at the network, just in a different role such as cleaning the locker rooms. Perhaps they can just get him super stoned and allow him to host a Star Trek retrospective where he talks in great detail about how to survive on Starship Enterprise and foot sweep a Klingon. Of course then you have to listen to the daily spiels about how he killed a grizzly bear with his bare hands after it encroached on his barbecue last weekend. How’d you have time to take a picture and this clearly looks like Larry King in a furry costume. Williams has several years left on his contract at $10 million per. I’d suggest a spin on The Greatest Race where we parachute him into Islamabad with nothing but some water rations a few canned hams and some early 90’s Hustlers. Let’s see if he can fight his way out. At least the stories at his funeral will be real this time.

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