Escaped Con’s Mom Has Values

Your name is Sweat. Strike one. The escaped upstate New York killer David Sweat was arrested and someone promptly called his mom because she’s definitely available. Weekends, holidays, she has no job. People think of New York as baseball and hot dogs. Drive an hour north and you’re counting the kilos until Alabama. Or Ontario. Have another drink. The older Sweat made it available to the lazy press that she doesn’t condone murderers. You could have said that when you were condoning dropouts and things would be different:

“My son knows if he would’ve came here, I would’ve knocked him out and have them guys take him to jail by themselves, because that’s the way I am”

Insightful. Maybe next time you’re getting a train run on you during playtime factor in the future complications. Canada’s an hour away. Pull the fucking trigger.

Photo Credit: CNN