Pablo Sandoval Shitting and Liking

Boston Red Sox new fat third baseman Pablo Sandoval got busted for liking photos of hot chicks on Instagram in the middle of a Red Sox game. Sandoval nobly defended himself by noting he was taking a big crap at the time he was on his phone. Which brings to light a cultural misunderstanding. In much of Latin America, taking a dump is a get out of jail free card. It’s why narco traffickers are always exchanging packages beneath toilet stalls while unloading their bowels.

Red Sox fans are questioning the work ethic of a player scrolling through bikini pictures in the middle of a game his team is losing. Pretty obvious tubby shaming. Show a picture of a fat dude on the shitter with his phone out to a random sampling of the population and respondents will note he’s clearly up to no good. It’s inherently prejudicial. There is an MLB rule that bans social media activity in the dugout and clubhouse during baseball games so Sandoval is likely to face some kind of punishment. At the same time, the Red Sox just gave him a guaranteed $100 million so he’s likely going to fuck half those chicks he liked on Instagram. Maybe while he’s shitting. Rich fat guys remain undefeated.

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