Ryan Seacrest Putting In Work

Ryan Seacrest is officially dating former Miss Teen USA Hilary Cruz. It’s not a good sign when you’re still talking about that at 26. Seacrest has been busy with American Idol and executive producing Caitlyn Jenner’s upcoming spectacle of shameless self indulgence. Turns out you’re still boring even with the snipped penis. You could convert to a jackalope and I’d be clicking past. I would like to see the ears. Cruz for her part still has giant fake tits which can double as a flotation device and appears to weigh roughly the same as a bushel of kindling. The arrangement should work out well as Seacrest works 300 hours a week and she’ll have his house during the day to fuck straight guys. Also, they’re the same dress size. I’m sure Seacrest will relax once he nears eighty Logo is serving more households than ESPN. Until then, shine the Miss Teen statuette. Daddy needs his thinking toy.

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