Danica Patrick Limbers Up

Danica Patrick has been posting a ton of bikini pics on Instagram instead of practicing her driving. She is widely considered the worst driver on the NASCAR circuit and by far the most fuckable, although that honor would go to whatever token female corporate wants to stunt cast. For example, if Paris Hilton was a race car driver she’d be the hottest one. And she’s disgusting. Patrick is curiously one of the highest earners in the sport because nobody wants to see Dale Earnhardt’s ass crack outside of the guys wearing hats with his name on it. Yoga definitely helps in NASCAR training but not as much as smoking a pack of Marb Reds or having a wealthy father. She’s going to transition well into signing autographs at off the strip casinos. She sucks at her job but those babies are real. Fuck a restrictor plate we’re going balls out tonight.

Photo Credit: Instagram