Lisa Opie in a Bikini

Fat women will point out how skinny women are just as likely to die in a thermonuclear explosion as they are. It’s probably not to your benefit to skip meals to fit perfectly into your little bikini. But that’s you. Let’s talk about me. I appreciate it. There’ll be time for Arby’s when you’re older and your attorneys have quashed your first prenup. Fuck early, often, and skinny, and you won’t need to be part of the body shape debate women invented to feel the tingle of self-hatred. Men who appreciate full-figured women earn 32-cents on the dollar to men who like women who starve themselves to look pretty. I’m not buying your commitment to bulimia. Back away from the scone.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet