Paris Hilton Working the Holidays

Nobody is more American than Paris Hilton. She is the invisible hand that tugs the cock of capitalism. No matter where Paris is at any given time or what she is doing, she is getting paid. She doesn’t need to work. Her sister doesn’t. She wants to work. For about an hour last week the world was flummoxed as to whether or not Paris Hilton was in on her Dubai Air Crash prank show. Then everybody remembered she landed safely and grimaced simultaneously. That’s one million bones. Paris’ herpes sores swell into likenesses of the local currency symbols no matter where she is in the world. This is the game. Paris is winning.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet