Rowling Spots for Serena

Here’s a new pastime for nitwits. Cherry-pick a negative comment on Twitter, craft a response, then wait for the SEO title specialist at Yahoo or HuffPo or EW to label it once more, ‘The Perfect Comeback’.  How old do you have to be to remember real journalism?

J.K. Rowling was watching Wimbledon because she’s run out of things to do when not teasing nerds about cookie cutting out more Harry Potter books. What? This time there’s a giant spider lurking in the unfrequented squash courts?  Fuck me, I’ve pre-ordered ten copies. Rowling took to Twitter to exalt the Serena Williams’ win at Wimbledon:

What an athlete, what a role model, what a woman!

Some British dude on Twitter wrote back, completely unnecessarily, though I do understand the desire after Rowling couldn’t stop herself after great athlete and role model:

Ironic then that main reason for her success is that she is built like a man

J.K. Rowling horribly disregarded the first rule of Hogwarts: don’t feed the trolls. That actually might be the second rule after not letting Dumbledore into the boys water closet unsupervised. Rowling posted a picture of Serena Williams in a tight red dress as exhibit A of her case that Serena is all woman.

Yeah, my husband looks just like this in a dress. You’re an idiot

Epic retort? I don’t know. Why can’t I stop thinking about your husband resembling a pre-op Apollo Creed? Does he gladly accept the peggings or do you have to remind him who has the passwords to the Potter accounts? ‘You’re an idiot’ has savaged Cambridge debaters for eons. Well played, Hermione.

Rowling faces an uphill battle. Serena Williams has the physique of an NFL linebacker. I don’t think it’s nature-made. It’s objectively manly in its musculature and proportions. Rowlings is welcome to find other women matching the same physique to show that it’s within two standard deviations of the norm. Good luck since the GDR gave up the ghost on dominating Olympic women’s field events.

Photo credit: J.K. Rowlings on Twitter