Sheldon Richardson Rapidly Losing Credibility

New York Jets’ defensive end Sheldon Richardson is suspended the first four games of next season for smoking weed. No word on when they’ll start testing owners and coaches or if a bro should be allowed to enjoy a joint when his spinal cord looks like a row of garlic rolls. Richardson held a mini press conference and spoke with reporters for the first time since the suspension came down, vowing to change his ways. In typical 80’s movie you’re not going to believe this shit fashion he then proceeded to leave that very press conference and get into a 143 mile per hour high speed chase with police, with a twelve year old kid and a loaded gun in the car, and get arrested. Maybe he just meant change his ways for the next ten minutes. Apparently Richardson initially sped away from police before turning off the highway, killing his lights, and trying to park in a random person’s driveway. That doesn’t work in real life because nobody owns a Bentley and a Datsun. He has been charged with resisting arrest and will more than likely be suspended until the league begins play in hyperbaric chambers on the ocean’s floor. By then weed will be legal. At least he’s figured out how to not look high in photos.

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