Megan Fox Divorcing

After eleven years of dating, five years of marriage and two little kids with that skinny dude from 90210, Megan Fox is cutting her husband loose. Nobody ever fully understood why a world class sexpot was hooked up with a one-show in the 90’s actor turned part-time DJ when she could’ve hit the Miami Beach condo jackpot with some A-lister. The anomaly provided the everyman false hope of his own Megan Fox in the sack. According to the gossip rags, husband Brian Austin Green tired of Fox’s obsession with landing new film roles that took her away from bringing him YooHoo sodas and finding his video game controllers under the couch cushions. He was relatively less tired of his ten years of unemployment forcing his wife to nail down more Michael Bay tight top film roles to feed their babies. You’ll come out fine on the other end, Fox. I’d hit up one of those online reputation companies and see how much it would cost to expunge every Boolean search of your name plus Brian Austin Green. Or just replace it with ‘Single and Still Super Fucking Hot’. They’ve built more condos in Miami. Aim for the penthouse this time. You already know what the basement is like.

Photo Credit: PacificCoastNews