J.K. Rowling Can’t Let Go

Every few months J.K. Rowling pokes up her head and says something stupid just to remind everybody that it’s been seven years since she produced any homoerotic wizard school boy fiction. She used to be on welfare then she became a millionaire many times over proving that welfare works if you’ve got a half dozen or so Harry Potter books in you.

Rowling wants everybody to know that the evil villain in her book series, Voldemort, does not pronounce the ‘t’ at the end of his name. This is super important because Voldemort is clearly French. Meaning evil. Or in the least, a judgmental douche in color coordinated wool ensemble. Also because Rowling can’t bring herself to write another fucking book.

You had your time. Much like the maladjusted children at Hogwarts it’s time to move on. Don’t hang out after graduation. Welfare remains a viable option. As does self-immolation. Make a splash. For the children.

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